I recently started reading the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain and in just a few pages I started coming to the realization of how much my being an introvert impacts my life in ways I'd never really imagined. Unfortunately, I was reading about five books at the time and only managed to make it to page 25 before having to take it back to the library. Woops! I'm going to check it out again soon though, or perhaps just buy it.
In those 25 pages I learned a great deal about myself, however. I apologize that I'm not able to use exact quotes or reference page numbers since I don't have the book in my possession. One of the largest things that left an impact on me (though I doubt I'll even begin to accept myself for years to come) is that it's okay to be the shy, quiet person. I tend to bottle all of my emotions up and only really feel comfortable expressing myself through the written word, so I felt impressed to start writing down all the things that I experience or think since I'm seemingly incapable of actually voicing my opinions/feelings. On that note, I should give a shout-out to my super awesome husband who is extremely patient with me! The hubs and I met online (on the embarrassing website hotornot.com of all places!) and I've often suspected that's part of the reason why I have a hard time communicating in person with him or while he's looking at me - we started out sharing everything in writing and I got accustomed to opening up in that medium with him. It's seriously embarrassing that sometimes I have to turn my back on him and stare at a wall if I'm going to tell him something that has upset me or that I'm worried about because for some reason saying it to his face makes it a bajillion times worse. Thankfully, at work and other settings I don't really have to discuss things like that so I can sometimes squeak by not looking so emotionally/socially crippled.
Whether or not anyone else reads my ramblings doesn't really bother me much since I'm just another bodyless phantom on the interwebs, but I'm hoping that just maybe by finding my voice in this form will help me sort through my non-stop musings and some day I'll muster up the courage to be vocal. So with that, internet, I'm going to try not to be a one-post-wonder and actually update in a few days. Adieu.
