Trust

*Disclaimer.  I don't intend for this post to cause any emotional stress on anyone, but I guess depending on one's own experiences this may be a bit harder to read.  Today has been a relatively hard day to live through though and I have a heavy heart that needs some form of relief.

As I was driving home from work today I was struck by the level of trust that is needed to survive an average day.  However, I guess it makes sense to analyze aspects of life that you don't usually give much thought to on a day like today when bombs go off and something as innocent as a marathon turns into a scene from a horror movie.  I don't understand how there is such a lack of respect for something as rare as human life.  I don't care what nationality, religion, or sexual orientation a person is; their sheer existence demands respect.  Of all the galaxies and planets that are out there and for there to only be known life on one miniscule planet and for that life to be tossed about so casually sickens me.  I'm embarrassed to admit that some stories of war and death don't affect me like they used to, but on a day like today I am not ashamed to break down in tears at work over the loss of people whom I've never met but I feel a direct link to.

Trust is defined as the "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing" (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/trust?s=t).  I guess I've never really considered how many ways we have to trust one another on a daily basis to even survive.  Yes, there are the more obvious forms of trust like the trust I have with my spouse and vice versa.  The more discrete forms of trust I think are possibly more difficult than those bonds of trust you have with those are close to you.  

So I was driving home realizing that I was trusting all the people in the other vehicles around me to follow traffic laws (however that trust has been somewhat shattered after being in two non-fault accidents within two months of each other). Or how I trust when I go to the grocery store that the other people there won't pull out a gun and start firing.  Trusting a church leader regardless of denomination to keep in confidence anything and everything you've shared with them. Even something as simple as purchasing a product and trusting that it won't cause you harm has to be taken into account.  I suppose for someone like me who is relatively untrusting and always wondering what people are really thinking about me, the fact that I can function in a somewhat normal manner is in and of itself a small miracle.
  
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post.  I guess I'm just having a hard time being at a stage in life where the hubs and I are thinking about starting a family and gambling something so precious as human life against the sheer cruelty that we face on a daily basis.  I can only hope that when the hubs and I take that step we'll be able to protect and prepare a child the best we can so that when they're sent out in the world they'll be able to spread a level of love and committment that the universe is in such a desperate need of. 

Revenge by dirty underwear

In an odd sort of way I almost feel like being such an introvert has added to how creative I've become.  Other people may not know it, but I'm hilarious!  I'm kind of surprised that I don't have ulcers from holding back my sarcasm/thoughts all the time.  The hubs has been watching Scrubs on Netflix again and I'm kind of in love with the character JD solely for his inner monologue.

Earlier today, while being an exemplar employee at work, I was texting the hubs and found out that he didn't go into work until 5:00 pm instead of getting off at 5:00 pm like I thought.  A few hours later I texted him again to see if he could either take the recycling out to the dumpster or clean up some more of the kitchen. How nice of me to give him a few things and let him pick whatever, right?
*side note*  Our house is atrocious!  I'm one of those people that has to watch Hoarders occasionally to make myself feel better.  Anyways, a few more hours after that I texted him before he was heading in to work and asked him what he'd been up to.  He responded by saying he mostly took a nap (he's been working overtime and been sent out to open up/help train staff at new restaurant locations) and played some video games.  And of course I secretly was hating him because he was home having fun and I was not, because I'm a good wife like that.

I get home to discover that the kitchen was just as I left it and the tower of recycling (literally higher than my head) was still stuffed in the corner.  Of course, me being me, I know the chances of me saying something to the hubs about it is slim to none.  Back to my starting statement about being creative, I had to come up with something to make myself feel better.  So what do I do?  The laundry, but pull out all of his underwear and wash everything but that.  Immature? Probably.  But it made me feel better and my sister got a laugh out of it!

*Update*
The hubs came home and apologized for not cleaning anything today so all is forgiven.  I told him there's always tomorrow to try again. ;0